new years.

new years started good, got weird, and ended well. we went to sean's and suddenly I felt so awkward. I just felt so suddenly insecure, and that's not me at all. I need to get a grip! and he was, for the second year, my first kiss. today at lunch he said he is not going to date anyone, ever again. "breaking up is too hard. it hurts too much." I wanted to believe him so strongly, but I've got to have common sense. I wish I wasn't such a jealous person now, but maybe that walks hand in hand with my insecurity. I know where it stems from; I'm just not ready to move on. 

we went to the baltimore aquarium today with nathan, christian, and tim which was nice. I'm glad I got to kick it with them before moving which, by the way, I'm in the process of my final packing; I move tomorrow morning. wow. it hasn't hit me, but this is my last night actually living in this house. I'm suddenly terrified, but mostly of losing touch with people (him). here we go.